in the midst of craziness
by joywriter1980
Summary: just a silly little piece


In the midst of craziness

A/N: I wrote this little silly piece for Caff on VAMB who wanted a story that begins with: _„Captain, we have reached the galactic border! It seems we've been travelling in the wrong direction for the past seven years."_

So I decided to give it a try.

Thanks to my wonderful beta readers!

So if you want to read something romantic, or angsty or even something that makes sense…please don't read any further. Don't say I didn't warn you!

Disclaimer: Paramount / CBS …blah, blah, blah

**In the midst of craziness**

„Captain, we have reached the galactic border! It seems we've been travelling in the wrong direction for the past seven years." Harry Kim announced as the other bridge officers got up from the floor where they had fallen.

"What?" Janeway asked. "That can't be true. Ok, attention everybody. Mr. Paris, check the star charts. Chakotay, check the script from 'Caretaker'. I clearly remember saying 'Set a course for home'!"

"Aye, Captain."

She turned to the science station to run a few diagnostics when she felt somebody tapping her on the shoulder.

"What now?", she asked annoyed as she turned around. "Who are you?"

"I'm Billy Telfer, Ma'am." Billy stammered. "You know, you helped me in that episode a few months ago. But than TPTB forgot about me and I have never been seen again."  
"Oh yeah. I remember now and what can I do for you?"

"I wanted to give you this PADD with the report from Lieutenant Paris about the star charts."  
"Ahem…thank you, but Mr. Paris is right behind you. He could have given me the report himself."

"Yes, I know, Ma'am, but otherwise the author of this story wouldn't know how to justify my appearance here.

"I see…". Janeway said slowly as she took the PADD. She took her seat while reading the report, only to jump up again shouting. "These star charts are almost 200 hundred years old!" She looked around angrily and finally her eyes settled on Tom Paris who sat shoulders in his chair with slumped. He cleared his throat.

"Ma'am, that would be my fault."

"Explain!"

"Well, remember the time when I rescued Harry from Quark on DS9?" When she nodded he continued.

"Well, he also had these star charts and they were really, really, really cheap…", he trailed of when Janeway settled her death glare on him.

"We'll talk about that later, Mr. Paris", she said quietly.

At that very moment the turbolift doors burst open and Seven of Nine, wearing a wet T-Shirt that said: 'With my boobs I saved the show', stormed in.

"Captain Janeway, you'll be assimilated. It seems that I was right with my assumption that you conspired with the Tak – Tak to take over the Borg."

Janeway looked perplex. "Wait, wait…. what's she doing here? Didn't we leave her at the Think Tank when we had the chance to get rid of her?"

"No, Ma'am. After I was so stupid to turn down her advances a few years ago she had a roll in the hay with Brannon Braga and now she has prerogative on saving the ship once a week, and she already laid her eyes and probably hands on Commander…" Harry interrupted himself as he saw Chakotay frantically jumping up and down, making grimaces behind Janeway."

"Yeah…seems I mixed up fanon with canon here…", Janeway mumbled to herself as she turned around slowly, to look at the now innocent looking Chakotay and sighed.

"Maybe Q has something to do with this? Q show up!" , she yelled.

Suddenly there was a well known white flash. But instead of Q appearing only his voice said: "Hello this is Q, Q2 and female Q speaking. We're personally not available right now. Please leave us a message or call back later. Thanks!"

"I don't believe it!" Janeway screamed. "Who's producing this crap?" She looked around on the bridge into the blank faces of her crew and finally her gaze settled on the bridge ceiling. "Hey!", she yelled.

Now the author of this story looked very dumbfounded. She looked left and right to make sure she was alone in the room and then asked: "What?"

"Are you writing this crap?" Janeway asked.

"But, but, but…", the author stammered. "You shouldn't be sentient about that! And you see, this is actually Caff's and Cori's fault…"

"Stop making excuses," Janeway interrupted. "Fix this. Now!", she added with her famous death glare.

She jumped a little as suddenly a female human with shoulder length dark blonde hair appeared next to her.

"WOW!", the author of this story exclaimed as she looked around with wide eyes. "The others will never believe me…" Her eyes settled on Harry Kim.

"You know", she said. "You really look better when you're Garrett Wang and not Harry…" Then her eyes drifted further to finally settle on Chakotay and she took a few steps toward him, only to be pulled back abruptly by a small female hand.

Janeway brought the author's face close to hers, settled another hard glare on the author of this story and whispered.

"No way in hell…"

"Well, ok then ….but you can't resent me for trying…can you?" The author of this story said with a low voice while wiping some drool from her chin. After another few seconds of glaring from Janeway's side the captain finally let go of the author and folded her arms across her chest. "So…you promised you can fix this?" she asked.

"Well….yes…ok, ok, I can offer you this…" with that the author of this story started to whisper in Janeway's ear. Loudly she added: "But that would really be the easy and not very imaginative way. And I have to add a little "J/C" to it!"

"Oh and I want…" the author of this story started to whisper again.

Janeway gave this some thought and finally nodded. "Ok, do it!"

"Coolio!" With that the author of this story vanished from the bridge again.

Janeway startled awake. Sitting up in bed she got up and went to the replicator to get a glass of water. She could feel a presence behind her, when strong arms embraced her from behind.

"Everything alright?" Chakotay asked with a deep sleepy voice.

"Yes," Janeway answered as she turned around. "You know, I just had a really strange dream." She kissed him lightly on his nose. "Come on, let's go to bed again.", she whispered.

End

OH! You want to know what the author got? Well, the author of this story settled back on her couch watching 'Resolutions', wearing her new Janeway wig and Janeways pink nightie

THE END (this time for real)

(finished 11-10-2007)


End file.
